A Manifesto of Intangible Wealth

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gq:

Both Guys Want Me! WHAT DO I DO???!!!!!
A female works through her very desirable female vote:
I JUST DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS!!!!!!! By my tally—which could be inaccurate because you know what happens when you put women and numbers in the same room (haha, actually, I’m not sure what happens! But that just goes to show why you never, ever put women and numbers in the same room)—Mitt Romney said “women” 45 times during his convention speech, while Barack Obama only mentioned “women” 31 times. Neither of them mentioned cats or The Bachelor. Hmmph :(




 They both had Moms they really liked, which is obviously one of my top issues! I’m not a Mom yet, but believe you me, when I am, I’m going to make everyone call me Mom first and foremost. Like the checkout kid at the grocery store, “That’ll be $62.91, Mom.” Or my dear gynecologist Dr. Bernowitz, “Could you schooch down a little closer to the end, Mom?” My husband, for sure, will call me Mom around the clock! I get a 50 Shades of Gray-esque tingle down there (you know what I mean, ladies!!) just imagining him whispering in my ear, “Mom, you want to head up to the master bedroom?”




The rest here. 

That kiss looks uncomfortably familiar…

gq:

Both Guys Want Me! WHAT DO I DO???!!!!!

A female works through her very desirable female vote:

I JUST DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS!!!!!!! By my tally—which could be inaccurate because you know what happens when you put women and numbers in the same room (haha, actually, I’m not sure what happens! But that just goes to show why you never, ever put women and numbers in the same room)—Mitt Romney said “women” 45 times during his convention speech, while Barack Obama only mentioned “women” 31 times. Neither of them mentioned cats or The Bachelor. Hmmph :(


They both had Moms they really liked, which is obviously one of my top issues! I’m not a Mom yet, but believe you me, when I am, I’m going to make everyone call me Mom first and foremost. Like the checkout kid at the grocery store, “That’ll be $62.91, Mom.” Or my dear gynecologist Dr. Bernowitz, “Could you schooch down a little closer to the end, Mom?” My husband, for sure, will call me Mom around the clock! I get a 50 Shades of Gray-esque tingle down there (you know what I mean, ladies!!) just imagining him whispering in my ear, “Mom, you want to head up to the master bedroom?”


The rest here

That kiss looks uncomfortably familiar…

  • 13 September 2012
  • 67